Quite Frankly

The more I work in cubicle land the more I discover that many people should have repeated kindergarten.  Why? Because they obviously did not learn all the lessons it had to offer the first time around.  I think it would be perfectly acceptable for most people to repeat it.  Probably about once a decade.  Kind of like a tetnus shot. 

Here is a short list of things I commonly observe that should be on the syllabus:
1-Use your inside voice when you are inside.  Translation: do not use your speaker phone in your cube.  Now go write that on the chalkboard or whiteboard or whatever 1000 times so you don't forget.  Especially if you are in the IT department. 
2-Stay on task.  Translation: do not have personal phone conversations in your cube.  Take a break and go somewhere else (an empty meeting room, your car, outside...anywhere else!).  I don't care if it's your wife calling, I don't want to hear even one side of your conversation about your kids.  I also don't want to hear about your pets (just because I have pets does not mean I want to hear about yours) or where your child is thinking about going to college or your worries about how you will afford it (they are called college loans!!).  I also don't care what you watched on tv or ate last night.  And I really don't care how your workouts or your diet is going.  Go get a coffee and talk if you must. 
3-If you can't say anything nice about someone then don't say anything.  Translation: do not have conversations about politics in your cube.  I may have formerly tolerated you, but now that I know what you think of the president I may go to extreme measures to avoid ever using your services again.  Everyone can be marginalized.
4-Treat other people how you want to be treated.  Translation: an office door does not make you invisible.  It also does not necessarily make your voice quieter.  We can all still hear and see you.  And if you close the blinds on your interior window it just makes me suspicious of what you are doing in there with the door closed.  I heard every word of that employee's review as well as what you said about our entire department to the big bosses out of state.
5-Share.  Translation: no one likes to be kept in the dark and fed shit.  We all know the guy in the corner office quit, but why haven't you announced it yet?  And did you promote the front desk admin? Because she is now sitting somewhere else and someone new is at the front desk.  And who is she anyway? 
6-If you don't have enough for everyone then don't eat it in front of us.  Translation: if you bring treats for the office, then tell everyone.  Don't just take it to your local coffee station (Engineering) and not invite everyone to the party.  Also, don't make popcorn in the microwave.  It's evil. 
7-If you make a mess, clean it up.  Translation: I hate when I throw something and miss the trash can too, but if I'm willing to throw it I'm willing to pick it up. 
8-Say you're sorry.  Translation: if you falsely accuse someone of something, be a real human and apologize.  Otherwise, it's slander.  No one forgets how you make them feel. 
9-Share.  Translation: did you seriously tell your boss that you won that contract all by yourself?  Maybe you should go ahead and do all the work then too.  Oh, wait, you are just a marketing guy.  What do we need you for again?  And why do you get a bonus?  You don't do any work!
10-Play fair.  Translation: when the shit hits the fan (and it always will), don't blame your co-workers.  Own up to your part in the mess and work together as a team to fix the mess.

Happy Green Giggle Nest

Attitude is everything.  It's next to impossible to find a great place to work with great people and a great boss.  So I take what I can get.  At this job I get lots of little surprises.  It makes me listen really hard which means I mostly have to shut up to hear the good stuff.  Like finding the zen garden someone left on top of the map filing cabinets.  I rake the sand every time I am over in that part of the cube maze.  Someone else is also raking it but I have never caught them at it.  Sometimes I move the rocks or lay the temple on its side.

There's also a collection of magnetic words on the cabinets.  I randomly collect some and put them in someone's cube on their shelf.  Today I put 'happy green giggle nest' in a junior engineer's cube.  He caught me once so he knows it's me, but sometimes he doesn't notice for a few days.

And then there's the holiday decorating.  I decided my theme this year was poinsettias.  So I found a couple pretty pictures and printed them off to put up below my name tag.  It makes me smile.  And that makes people nervous.