New Flamingo Parking

This is Flo, a lamp I inherited when a former co-worker went on sabatical. She has kept me sane on many days. She also helps me make a very bold statement when I get a new job. I moved her with me to my State job, where she confirmed my new co-worker's suspicions that I was not a standard State worker. She picked up some binder clips in her braid there and is settling in nicely at my new workplace. In my office...with a door....and enough room to park my bike.... I waited a few days to bring her in; I started with the binderclip sculpture from the State job. It went over well, so I brought in my calendars and then Flo. Amazing how long it took some people to notice her.

Fish On

Last week a lovely lady was downsized from our office. It was disturbing and, in my opinion, handled poorly. So I spent the rest of the afternoon filling up the fountain in my office. And last night when I went to the pet store to buy dog and cat fud, I bought fish too. My mom came shopping with me...on the phone from the comfort of her home. She had a great time. So did the people behind me in line when I expressed hope that the fish would live...and then realized I had forgotten to put food for them in the cart. They are currently enjoying hiding in the back of the fountain where no one can see them. If they make it past a week I'll get them some rocks. If they make it a month, I'm getting a pirate ship.

Fist Bump

That did not just happen. My boss has been in a war with the Program Manager over his main project for a few days. We spent the better part of yesterday filling in gaps in our paper trail to appease him. Then we had a big meeting with him. They both think they made their point and 'won the battle'. Afterwards my boss called me from his office to congratulate me on staying calm during the meeting (uh, sure, no problem, not hard when not emotionally invested in this). The next time he came by my desk he game me a fist bump. *shudder, ughg* The funniest part - the project is in a 'winter shutdown'. Even funnier, it's shutdown because one of the subcontractors forgot to order the pump. It's a well project. I will probably never forget the day they told him it had a twelve week lead time. So glad my life is more than this job.

The Shelf

Sorry for the shadows here, it's the first sunny day we've had in weeks and it lifted my spirits enough to warrant an office rant post. This seemingly innocuous shelf has been in my workspace for a couple weeks now. Prior to this all the binders and such you see there were stashed under my desk, providing lovely foot rests, but not so nice access to the information stored within them.

Like many office sagas, this one started many months ago, and I am sure I have but a portion of the information. It has become obvious in the past few weeks that there was a lot of behind the scenes activity when I changed my work status to part time and started grad school. One of these is that some information may have been misrepresented to the Queen Bee. Her Hiveness was apparently operating under the impression that I was only going to be here a few hours per week, thus she did not think it reasonable to approve my request for a corner shelf upon my move to my new workspace. Uh huh, I see. Seeing as this denial occured on the heels of the fountain incident, I was left with no choice. I marched my butt over to her office and upon referencing the two incidents asked if there was a problem. She assured me that no, there wasn't she just didn't want to invest in furniniture for someone who was here on such a part time basis. Now, friends, let me give you one more piece to this puzzle. In the weeks prior to this statement, I had been in the office every workday for at least 6 hours. She was here about 6 hours per week. No, I'm really not exagerating this.

Imagine my surprise when upon the arrival of the latest shipment of furniture (because we apparently have some extra money laying around and thought this was a good way to spend it, never mind the fact that we never entertain clients here) a strapping young lad referencing his office map asked me where I wanted my shelf. Wow, the drama. It's amazing what a little thing like this will do for your perspective. It has buoyed me up to a whole new level of work appreciation. Appreciating the asepcts of not working here, that is.

For reference, I believe my request was the smallest made by anyone in the office. Everyone got at least one piece of new furniture, and several got more pieces than were in my last apartment. I was too chicken to try to sneak a picture of one of the deluxe offices, but we'll see if my boldness returns one night when no one is around.

The Fountain

This, my friends, is a fountain. It is also the topic that drove me over the edge and has caused the creation of this blog. I inherited this fountain from a former co-worker who is taking a year off to travel with his wife. He had this same fountain in his office down the hall from me for at least the year that I have been here and likely much longer as it was no longer a conversation topic at my arrival. During the year+ that I have been here I have rarely actually seen the fountain in operation. That is not to say that it doesn't work, but that it makes a bit of a terrible mess upon operation and generally gets everything around it wet.

For over a month now I have been adding water and periodically attempting operation of said fountain, to no avail. I can hear the pump working, but I have never actually gotten the water to move.

And then today I was approached by the office manager, KP - a sweet lady of immeasurable patience and calm, and quiety told to stop by her office a little later. The reason for the quietness is that my walls are of the four foot high variety and gossip travels faster than wildfire around here (as it does in most offices, I assume). Upon finishing my then current task, I traveled to the suite next door and perched upon a chair in her space to be told the VP had asked her to talk to me about my fountain. Apparently several people had come to her and said it was stinky. Mind you, I sit three feet from it and can't smell it. And I'm quite sure my nose is working fine. After ascertaining that she was indeed not joking and both of us laughing I said I couldn't see anyway that this wasn't a personal vendeta at this point. (will fill in more of the story in future, but is tiresome to think of it all now) I clarified that we were talking about the same fountain that was in KT's office down the hall for years with no odor complaints, and she confirmed. We shook our heads and chuckled some more.

And now I have rearranged the plants on the tops of the walls to absorb the ones that were located on the top of the fountain and I have begun the lengthy process of removing the water from the fountain base, one pitcher full at a time, and ferrying it down the hallway to the kitchen, dripping all the way. Fairwell 'stinky' water. Sorry that you are another victim of people in power going on trips.

Purpose Statement

I was struck today by how rude it is of me to have all this humor in my weekday life and not be sharing it with anyone. Or at least purging it from my brain so I can stop dwelling on it.

Thus is born the chronicles of this office life. Mostly I like the people I work with, but some of them cause me immense entertainment. I think sometimes they forget they are human, that we all live in Alaska, and that money is not the only (or most important) thing in the world.

Disclaimer: I am human, and therefore, flawed. Sorry to dissapoint you on this one, but it is true and I have not yet found the antidote. So all observations noted here are from my warped view and may not be shared by others.